Why Emotional Pain hurts so much, and how to overcome this painful feeling

Why do some circumstances of life hurt us so much? Why does it feel so bad when someone bullies us? Why does it feel so crappy when we are bullying others?

Because it is not in line with who we really are. When we are in harmony with ourselves, we feel great, we feel wonderful, there is no pain, we're just on top of the wave. But if we deviate from this harmony, when we are doing things our Higher Self would never do, like scolding a child, like showing our spouse a cold shoulder, like bitching about our co-workers, it doesn't really feel good.

Oh, yes, it can actually give us a short moment of relief, for example when we finally found the strength to oppose to something that made us feel really helpless before, because being angry is always better than feeling helpless, but this satisfaction is only of a very short duration and as soon as we make it our dominant topic without moving on to further, better feeling thoughts, it get's stale, it looses it's luster.

If we want to be really happy, we need to get more and more in tune with our Inner Core. The more powerful we feel, the more in tune with our Higher Self we are, since this eternal part of us sees beyond the limitations of our human belief systems and knows that everything is possible for us and that all these limitations are just the result of our human existence. The name of the game is to get our unlimited power back and we cannot do that by feeling disadvantaged and helpless.

Have you ever watched people who are complaining about something? Did they look powerful to you? Did you think that they were aware of their powerful true nature? If so, congratulations! I didn't. All I saw was people hashing through over and over and over again the same complaints and stories of unfair treatment. Their body language shows that they don't feel strong. They feel harassed, they have their shoulders bent a little, when you look at them, you can see how they feel.

It is really easy to fall into this trap, because in the beginning, it often really feels better. The problem is that we cannot focus for a very long time (a minute actually is enough) on some subject without attracting more thoughts to us which match the one's we were focused upon. That's the reason why these discussions very often are endless, pointless and utterly useless. We get into a vicious cycle of complaining and finding massive evidence for the facts we complain about.

Most people think that in order to feel better, they have to conquer the actual circumstances, they have to get the others around them to behave in a certain way, they have to change the situation first before they can relax and let go of it. And by trying this, they hold themselves endlessly in this place, always trying to change what they have absolutely no control over (all the others around them) instead of dealing with the only thing they have control over (which is their own feeling about the situation).

They don't know that by controlling their own emotional response to the topic, they change the whole dynamic of the game, since everything around them is only in their experience because it matches the signal they send out.

They don't trust that this is a benevolent Universe, that the Law of Attraction will really take care of it, if they let it happen. They are rather unhappy and tense instead of happy and relaxed as long as they don't see the change of the circumstances around them. The problem is that these cannot change, as long as they are unhappy and tense.

Unhappy and tense is NOT a match to sunshine, lollipop and roses! It is a match to stress, things to be unhappy about, struggle and pain. If there is only a chance that what we send out has ANYTHING to do with what we live, these are emotions we really should not tolerate any longer as we absolutely have to.

It is worth deliberately letting go of this aggravating experience, making the jump from thinking about how bad people treat us to something else that feels nicer and better, it is definitely worth it to let go and let God / the Universe / Source or whoever we ask for help when we're really in trouble, do their magic.

We cannot heal the world by beating the drum of its problems, no matter how much we try. We cannot substantially improve our situation by complaining about our helplessness. We have to trust that it WILL get better as soon as we feel better and then do whatever we can to improve our emotional response.

Some people will blame us for being too weak, to not stand up enough against the dark forces. They will blame us for just making business as usual instead of fighting against injustice. And we have to let them think that. We have to let go of that, too, we cannot be their darling and at the same time pursue our own happiness.

They might not understand that, even though the outer circumstances seem to be unchanged, our life experiences can still be dramatically different as they were not long ago, as we felt like they do still.

But our life can immediately start to go so much more easily, with everything falling in place just in time, help showing up right when we need it, our brains working flawlessly and effectively, aggravating experiences just inexplicably shifting out of our experience.

When you have experienced that a few times, when you see the endless, creative ways this benevolent, loving, caring Universe responds to every shift in your emotional response, you will never enjoy wallowing in your sorrow again.

As nice as it may feel in the moment, it is just not worth the price you pay for it.

© Dorothee Geray 2010

If we want to be really happy, we need to get more and more in tune with our Inner Core. The more powerful we feel, the more in tune with our Higher Self we are, since this eternal part of us sees beyond the limitations of our human belief systems and knows that everything is possible for us and that all these limitations are just the result of our human existence. The name of the game is to get our unlimited power back and we cannot do that by feeling disadvantaged and helpless.

Have you ever watched people who are complaining about something? Did they look powerful to you? Did you think that they were aware of their powerful true nature? If so, congratulations! I didn't. All I saw was people hashing through over and over and over again the same complaints and stories of unfair treatment. Their body language shows that they don't feel strong. They feel harassed, they have their shoulders bent a little, when you look at them, you can see how they feel.

It is really easy to fall into this trap, because in the beginning, it often really feels better. The problem is that we cannot focus for a very long time (a minute actually is enough) on some subject without attracting more thoughts to us which match the one's we were focused upon. That's the reason why these discussions very often are endless, pointless and utterly useless. We get into a vicious cycle of complaining and finding massive evidence for the facts we complain about.

Most people think that in order to feel better, they have to conquer the actual circumstances, they have to get the others around them to behave in a certain way, they have to change the situation first before they can relax and let go of it. And by trying this, they hold themselves endlessly in this place, always trying to change what they have absolutely no control over (all the others around them) instead of dealing with the only thing they have control over (which is their own feeling about the situation).

They don't know that by controlling their own emotional response to the topic, they change the whole dynamic of the game, since everything around them is only in their experience because it matches the signal they send out.

They don't trust that this is a benevolent Universe, that the Law of Attraction will really take care of it, if they let it happen. They are rather unhappy and tense instead of happy and relaxed as long as they don't see the change of the circumstances around them. The problem is that these cannot change, as long as they are unhappy and tense.

Unhappy and tense is NOT a match to sunshine, lollipop and roses! It is a match to stress, things to be unhappy about, struggle and pain. If there is only a chance that what we send out has ANYTHING to do with what we live, these are emotions we really should not tolerate any longer as we absolutely have to.

It is worth deliberately letting go of this aggravating experience, making the jump from thinking about how bad people treat us to something else that feels nicer and better, it is definitely worth it to let go and let God / the Universe / Source or whoever we ask for help when we're really in trouble, do their magic.

We cannot heal the world by beating the drum of its problems, no matter how much we try. We cannot substantially improve our situation by complaining about our helplessness. We have to trust that it WILL get better as soon as we feel better and then do whatever we can to improve our emotional response.

Some people will blame us for being too weak, to not stand up enough against the dark forces. They will blame us for just making business as usual instead of fighting against injustice. And we have to let them think that. We have to let go of that, too, we cannot be their darling and at the same time pursue our own happiness.

They might not understand that, even though the outer circumstances seem to be unchanged, our life experiences can still be dramatically different as they were not long ago, as we felt like they do still.

But our life can immediately start to go so much more easily, with everything falling in place just in time, help showing up right when we need it, our brains working flawlessly and effectively, aggravating experiences just inexplicably shifting out of our experience.

When you have experienced that a few times, when you see the endless, creative ways this benevolent, loving, caring Universe responds to every shift in your emotional response, you will never enjoy wallowing in your sorrow again.

As nice as it may feel in the moment, it is just not worth the price you pay for it.

© Dorothee Geray 2010